gnomes...it's the only explaination

i wear a night guard. it's like a retainer that keeps me from grinding my teeth.

so when i woke up this morning it wasn't in my mouth.

i was like "what the dang?" first my metronome disappears, then my sight singing book, and now my night guard disappears right out of my mouth in my sleep.

what's next? is my pencil going to go missing while i'm in the middle of writing a sentence? are my pants going to freakishly disintegrate while i'm walking to class? is my entire truck going to be gone while i'm driving down the road? am i going to tumble down the left side of the right lane of a two lane road head over heals getting road rash while i hopefully roll it over onto the shoulder before kicked by a frat boy on a scoot-scoot?

my guess is no.

it has to be those stupid gnomes. they're stealing my stuff and laughing uncontrollably as i completely tear apart everything looking for this stuff.
i hear them...i think.

you gnomes better stop stealing my stuff...and if you keep stealing my stuff, you better say hidden real good... 'cause i'll put you in the dumpster like a big, big bully.

what am i saying? i'm being crazy. there's no way the gnomes read my blog...which makes this threat completely useless. stupid gnomes and their dislike for technology.

oh well.



and by the way...i found my night guard.